Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tearing Up The House!



Hi everybody! It's Furby! And I'm here today to tell you Mama and Sissy are hypocrites! That's a big long word for a cat to have to know, but it's the truth!

All of my life I've been told to be a good boy and not tear things up. I have a finger pointed at me when I DO tear things up. TRUST me, I'm good at knocking over things and breaking them. I truly enjoy the sound of breaking glass. Apparently Mama doesn't, but that's another story.

Anyway, Sissy has been doing a lot of work in the house after the feline bad temper...um.....excuse me... FELINE DISTEMPER killed so many of our babies. It turns out that germ critters can live in the carpet and make more kitties sick. So Sissy tore out the carpet and she's trying to put down a tile floor.

Mama and Sissy have the best friends EVER on Facebook. They're trying to help pay for all of the tile. Mama got the good kind that kitty paws can't tear up in a few weeks. That mean's we'll be able to have better catnip parties and clean up better with a tile floor. Won't nobody be able to pee on the carpet and not be found out! 

I'm supervising, as you can see by the pictures. I was doing a pretty good job of it until I found out about one thing. GLUE. That horrible icky substance that feels worse than duck tape on your feet. I almost stepped in it a few times. Almost. Well, I did. Just a little....If not for that universal word reaching my ears in time, I'd have had to have a major bath instead of just a washcloth paw-rub, which wasn't all that bad. 

You all know the word I'm talking about. AAANNNKKKK! It works on everybody. Kids, grownups, critters. Anyone hears that word and they freeze! Kids and critters may pee their pants and paws when they hear this word. I didn't. I just froze, one paw almost in the glue on the floor and the other a safe distance away. Mama still washed off my feet to be on the safe side.

So my job was making sure none of Furby's Halfway House residents had a glue experience. It's needed to hold down the tile. 

Now for why Sissy and Mama are hypocrites. They tell me not to dig in my litterbox like I'm trying to rescue someone and to keep my food on the feeding bar. But THEY can tear up my house and NOTHING is said about it. Well, I'm telling on them.

Not only was the carpet tore up, there's much more. Mama and Sissy are doing something they call 'spring cleaning.' I don't know about you, but it's summer here and there ain't no 'spring' about it. Mama even has things tore apart and lots of boxes in her room and the master bath, which is supposed to be my private, PEACEFUL chamber. 

I know all this cleaning is gonna be a good thing because it will give us under the cabinet play-room. Mama doesn't know that yet so please don't tell her. She has to get rid of the globe base that used to hold fish and mama has been 'saving' for 15 years to one day use as a night light. And the puzzles with lots of pieces missing are gonna go too. There are a few other things I hope she gets rid of like the giant dead beetle in the top cabinet that scares the crap out of snoops (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) when I throw catnip parties. On second thought, I'd better make sure that stays. Teeheehee.

Would someone please write to me and tell me why they can tear up the house and I can't.

I wanna help and I just wanna make sure that feline distemper critter is out of here. I'll keep out of the glue. I PROMISE! I'll TRY? Never mind.....

So right now the house is a bigger mess than after a catnip party. There are boxes and trash bags everywhere. And it's not good trash where you get a lot of food smells. It's paper and junk trash and it's just BORING! Unless we get lucky and a mouse runs out from somewhere. Hhhmmmmm.......

I gotta go. I'm going on a MOUSE WATCH!

Furby

P.S. I'll write about this again when the floor is done. Donations can be sent thru PayPal to dvdjunkie2008@aol.com if you want to help.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Messages From The Rainbow Bridge



Hi everybody! It's Furby! Whew what a catnap I had this morning about the rainbow bridge. I just woke up from it. You know how everybody who knows about dreams says to write it down as soon as you wake up? Well, that's what I'm doing here because this one was a real doozy!
I don't know how many of you know this,  but I came back to mama after living and dying as a sick kitten named Tramp. Me and my best earth buddy Spot played for years on the bridge before God came and asked us if we wanted another chance to be with mama. I did, but Spot chose to stay on the Rainbow Bridge because he has a very special job there. He has to chase down all of the kitty cats who try to jump over the waterfall after they cross the bridge. If he doesn't catch them, they fall in the milk and honey stream and some cats don't like to get wet.  Some do, but some don't. I don't. Had enough of getting wet in both of my lives. Teeheehee.
Anyway, about the dream.  I was on the Rainbow Bridge with Spot and we were playing together just like the good old days. All of a sudden I heard it. FURBEEEE!! I looked around because I didn't THINK I knew anyone here. I was wrong. There were five healthy kittens and a BIG cat who was twice as big as me and they were running right at me. The big cat scared me because he looked JUST like me and because I knew if he didn't slow down I was gonna be really sore by the time this dream was over.
It was my kitties! The ones mama saved at the shelter and were too sick to live. I almost didn't recognize them. Lilo didn't have any gunk in her eyes anymore and Sweetie Pie looked happy and healthy. So did his sister Sugar Pie, who I kinda sorta had a crush on during the short time she was with us. Oh my goodness, how happy they all looked.  Here's their story. It's so sad....
Two of the Whineybutt kittens were there too. You can read about their story here.  Um... you'll need something for eye leakage for that one too. I recognized Romeo and Juliet because they looked the same as they did a few weeks ago except they were healthy and happy and playing. They never played at home before they came to the Rainbow Bridge. 
I told everybody on my web site how sad mama was when she couldn't save little Shakespeare. I heard her say he looked just like me or I looked just like him as a baby.  I was really upset that he wasn't with them!
It was about that time the big gray cat who looked just like me came over and sat down in front of me. He was so big and tall I had to stretch my neck back to see him. I hope I don't wake up with a crick in my neck from watching him. I sure wasn't going to take my eyes off a cat as big as this one was. He looked friendly enough. "Look at me Furby," he said. "Don't you know who I am?"
I shook my head at him that I didn't know him. I hoped he wasn't some cat I'd tangled with in a past life! "It's Shakespeare!" And then he hugged me so hard I almost peed my paws!
Shakespeare told me he was so big because God let's a Rainbow Bridge cat decide how big it wants to be. Shakespeare told God he wanted to be as big as he would have been on earth if he hadn't got sick and died. He died with mama holding him the same way I did in MY past life.
All of the other kittens are having a blast on the bridge. They tease old Spot, who now has the energy he didn't have in his past life. I've watched Spot bounce off of cat trees as tall as a castle! And now they're all up there playing.
Shakespeare is up there playing too, but he's really upset about things. He told me to tell mama not to worry about him and to thank her for being there with him at the end. He wants her to know he'll be waiting for her there one day and not to be sad about him anymore.
I told Shakespeare I'd make sure mama gets to read this story.
I had a little time left in my catnap dream, so I explored the Rainbow Kingdom for away to check out the newbies. The Catnip Castle was PACKED!  That's where I used to hang out when I first crossed over the bridge. I think that's where I picked up my love of the nip because I didn't live long enough in my first life to ever try it. They've got a LOT of new kitties signed up as members.
I had a hard time getting out of the castle because EVERYBODY knew who I was and that I write and they all wanted me to send personal messages back to earth.  So here goes....Puddin says hi and that he's sorry he kept getting into the trash.
Tiger said he looked both ways before crossing the road but the car was just going too fast. Rookie wants to tell his mom that he was sick when he was born and it's not her fault she couldn't save him.
Fluff said to tell her mom she was just old and sick and wanted to move on. Fluff wants her mom to know she remembers her mom's face as being the last she ever saw before crossing the bridge.
And Big Fluffy said to tell his mama he was sorry he got out of the box on the way home from being neutered and almost made her wreck. Wait a minute! I remember you, Big Fluffy! You were mama's cat too! Another highway hit and run. Poor guy. Only six weeks after his neutering surgery. What a tragedy! Geez, I'm so glad I live inside.
Well, that's all there is for now from the Rainbow Bridge. Maybe my best buddy Spot will come back and see me again sometime soon.  Especially since it's gonna be a LONG time before I join him again.
I gotta go now. I need to put this online so mama can find it in the morning when she gets home and not be so sad about "little" Shakespeare.
Furby

P.S. Shakespeare can't decide between angel wings and a halo. Can anybody help him decide?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Operation Cat Nip

Operation Cat Nip.... Oh man, mama just wrote a story and I thought it was going to be a catnip story. I was SO wrong. Here's the link everybody. http://www.pictures-of-cats.org/update-on-700-cats-seized.html

Just look at these poor kitties.....oh the poor babies....I wish I had room to bring them home and make them feel better.  I'd have my kitten greeter Garfield sleep with the kittens and I'd put cat greeter Mandy with the cats. I'd even put Jasper to work for the ones who were feeling up to playing.

These kitties are going up for adoption this month so please spread the word. There are 600 who need homes. And thank you to everybody who helped save their lives.  From the students at the University of Florida and from the University of California-Davis and did Operation Cat Nip (love the name) to all of the volunteers who came and spent their own money to help.

I'm so glad I have a good home and mama and sissy know better than to bring 700 cats to live here. What were these people thinking! Why didn't they ask for help like mama does with my roomies. People are always willing to help if you just ask for it.

I'm gonna go now.

Furby

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Kitty in the Mirror

I ust wanted to tell everybody about the beautiful kitty who lives behind the wall in my home. Mama calls it a mirror. I don't know what a mirror is, but I know this kitty is GORGEOUS! 

I first noticed him about a month after I'd moved in. It was Christmas time and mama had just made my picture with all of the Christmas toys (she calls them ornaments). I was tired of posing and decided to sneak off to the big bathroom. 

I jumped on the back of the swimming pool tub and then I saw him. He scared me so bad I almost peed my paws! He wasn't alone either. Two of his friends came with him and they looked just like he did.

We stayed on the tub playing some weird game of patty-cake. It was fun. Everything I did he did it too and so did his two friends. I figured I'd better be nice to him since he was a guest in my home. I was also outnumbered.

Mama made me go back to the living room once she found us. NO FAIR! She didn't make the other three kitties come.  They got to stay in the bathroom and play!

Then mama made some more Christmas pictures of me. I got tired after awhile and decided to jump up on the bar across from the refrigerator. There were some pretty toys up there that mama planned to use in MORE pictures and I wanted to play with them.  I think I lost about 5 lives when I jumped on the bar and my kitty friend was waiting for me there. He's found his way out of the master bath and this time he didn't have his buddies with him.

We had a wonderful time just staring at each other. I tried to get him to come out of the wall, um, mirror, and play with me. He must not have wanted to play with me because he stayed in the wall. Maybe he wanted to go back to the tub and play with the other two kitties. 

A long time went by, but I finally saw him again. He was in the bathroom wall mirror right by the sink. Maybe he was thirsty. I can't turn on the water with my paws and I didn't know what to do. Poor thirsty kitty! 

Mama came and found me soon and when she saw me looking in the mirror she just laughed at me and carried me back to the living room. WAIT MAMA! That kitty needed HELP!

It happened again last night. I was sitting in my favorite spot on the TV and looked up and there he was! My kitty friend had come back to visit and was in the ceiling mirror on top of the fan. 

I did what any good cat homeowner would do and started meowing as loud as I could at him. I was so scared he'd jump down and the fan would hurt him because it was on and spinning. I don't look at the fan too much because it makes me dizzy!

Mama and Sissy Laura were watching me meow and they just didn't understand how scared I was for my kitty in the mirror. How'd he get up there anyway? I just sat on the TV and kept my paws crossed that he wouldn't fall out of the ceiling.

After that I got down on the couch to exercise my dinner plate rights and when I was done eating I noticed he was gone. Whew! That was a close one.

Not only could my kitty in the mirror have fallen, but I'd have had to share my dinner and I was particularly greedy last night.

Do any of you have kitty cats living in your wall mirrors? Just curious. And....um.....how do you get them out. He HAS to be hungry by now!

Furby

P.S. Here's pictures in case you don't believe me......

We're Winning The Law Against Declawing!


Hi everybody! It's Furby! I've got the greatest news EVER! We're winning the war against declawing! Those stinking rotten vets who declaw aren't gonna get away with it much longer! Look at what my Auntie Ruth put on the website. http://www.pictures-of-cats.org/pro-declaws-are-outnumbered-now.html. Um..The Declawing Veterinarians Should Be Blacklisted page on Facebook is MINE!

Look at all these sites against declawing on Facebook alone! Some of the members may belong to more than one group and some idiots think that shouldn't count. But the way I look at it is: MADE YOU LOOK! If those idiots who support maiming a cat know some people belong to more than one group, then that means THEY'RE reading about how bad declawing is. Think there's any chance it will knock some sense into their noggins?

I want to tell you something funny that happened to me. I made a PORNO video! Well,  according to those who believe in declawing, it was a dirty movie! The people who turned me in (likely declawing vets) said it was disturbing, bad content, blah blah blah. Here's the link to it in case you want to watch. I even sent it to Catster to get their opinion on it. 


Look at me everybody! This is what smart people do instead of ripping half of our toes out. See how sweet I look just sitting there and letting the pedicure thingy file my nails. I get a GOOD treat once Sissy's done with me. Yet I was turned in for this being a video with porn content! I know I'm nekked, but please don't give mama any ideas or she'll start putting clothes on me like some of those other famous cats.

Thanks again, Auntie Ruth! There are a whole lot more pain free cats out there because you got ahold of their owners with your preaching before those awful vets did. 

LOVE YOU AUNTIE RUTH!

Furby

P.S.  Here's a few pictures of me sitting on the table where I get my claws filed. Mama sneakerdoodled me on that one. No room to escape or I'll fall off!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

My Name Is Furby The Feral Feline


Hi everybody! It's Furby! Or should I say it's Furby the Feral Feline? I figured I'd better explain which Furby I am since my Godfather Michael said there's more than one Furby out there. I don't mind there being other cats with my name. I'm sure there's a lot of cat ladies out there named Mama.

I also go by Furby the Feral. That sounds good. Reminds me of William the Conqueror and all of those other famous men with fancy three word titles. My mail comes to me in my legal name of Furby Salmons. If you don't believe me on that one just ask my mailman. Or my neighbor Annie who gets my mail because it's very hard for a cat to open a mailbox.  With my luck I'd get a claw hung and be dangling from the mailbox all day long until someone came looking for me. Talk about a NIGHTMARE! That's worse than the one about the giant mouse who lives in the kitchen cabinet. Never mind....

My first website is still under Furby the Feral Feline. It's at http://furbytheferalfeline.shutterfly.com. Mama uses it more than I do to list her stories. Besides, I was running into a LOT of people who can't spell FERAL and I was afraid some people couldn't find me. So now my private site in http://fubythecat.shutterfly.com. I don't think it could be any easier to remember than that. Teeheehee.  And I'm still on Facebook under Furby the Feral Feline. PLEASE go there and LIKE me so mama will take down that goofy looking picture she made of me.  She won't take it down until I have 5000 friends.

I also have a YouTube under Furbys Halfway House and a Flickr account at http://flickr.com/furbyshouse. Mama is helping me Twitter at furbyshouse. I thought Twitter was about chasing birds but I was wrong!

Gee, I've never known anyone who has as many names as I do who's not running from the law. Catnip is still legal, isn't it?

Mama named me Furby because my earth daddy sent me to her on the day she went to his funeral. He used to have two Furby toys who would wake up in the middle of the night and start talking to each other. They'd go to sleep every night on a shelf right over daddy's bed and about scared the crap out of him a few times. I think mama remembers that every time she says Furby. Mama must have a very good memory of daddy because she says FURBY about a thousand million times a day!

So now that I've gotten that cleared up please go check out all of my sites. Love ya'll!

FURBY

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Raw Foods Diet For Cats Is YUMMY!

Hi everybody! It's Furby! Mama's doing something so great I just had to tell everybody about it. I can't believe it! We're getting to eat raw meat and it's all for us cats! My favorite food before finding out about this was spinach pizza, but this is even better!

It all started a few weeks ago when mama joined a group called RawPaws that tells people how to feed their cats raw meat and how good it is for us. It's like-DUH....I could have told her that.

Does anybody know why we bring our favorite people "presents" without the head?It's because the brains are so yummy and so good for us. But have you ever gone into a grocery store and asked the butcher if he had any brains? NOT a good idea. Don't EVER ask that question of someone who carries around a big knife!

Mama hasn't found us any brains yet, but she has brought us home different kinds of raw meat. Mostly chicken and beef liver and turkey necks. I met a turkey once when I was a baby. He tried to chase me clean across a field. Guess I showed him if that was his neck I was gnawing on the other night. Teeheehee. Not likely, but it's a nice thought.

Mama has done a LOT of reading about how cats have a short digestive tract so raw meat usually won't make a cat sick because we poop it out so soon and anyway, we need almost all protein in our diet. She saw pictures of how clean a cat's teeth are when it uses a turkey neck as a toothbrush. Who knew!

She gave us chicken legs one night and we didn't like those very well. We LOVE the chicken gizzards and hearts. Especially my buddy Samantha. She thought she was in cat heaven when mama gave her a gizzard of her very own. One night Sissy Laura cut up some beef liver and put it in a pan and we liked that too.

Last night mama brought home some chicken backs and gizzards and hearts. She wanted more turkey necks but they cost too much where she went to get them. Guess what! The pack of chicken backs had the neck bones with it! We love our new raw meat so much we don't attack sissy and mama when they eat anymore. A lot of people don't know raw bones are ok, that it's the cooked ones that are dangerous.

I did feel so sorry for Cocoa. He's been declawed and only has one tooth. Mama thought he might like to "gum" a piece. Cocoa said no thank you and just laid on top of his piece until mama finally took it away.

And you should see little Johnny carrying around a neck that weighs as much as he does! Here's a few pictures of him chowing down on his turkey necks. He takes them in the cat carrier so it has to be cleaned out too after every meal.  Johnny is SO silly!

Most of the sites mama has read about raw meat on say to heat the meat to room temperature. She's kinda sorta scared to do that. She' afraid of something called "germs" and doesn't want it to make us sick. I'll tell ALL of you cats out there, and cat ladies too, we don't mind eating it cold. It's SO yummy.

She won't feed us ground anything. Only the whole critter piece so we have to figure out how to tear it apart and eat it. Mama says she doesn't trust what could be in anything ground up.

She posted a lot of pictures on her Facebook page of the little kitties eating their raw necks. One of her friends wrote in and asked mama if she'd killed a Chippendale. What's a Chippendale? If it's anything like a chipmunk.....I've seen a few of those little critters as a baby when I was too sick to chase them.

Anyway, I hope you like all the pictures. Just make sure you clean the counters good after a chickenfest so none of those germ critters can grow. A chickenfest is ALMOST as good as a catnip party. I may even serve some at my next catnip party!

There's also not as much poop to deal with and it's not as smelly. VERY important when you're throwing a catnip and raw meat party for all of your cat friends. If mama can't smell their poop, she'll NEVER know they were there!

Do any of my kitty friends eat raw? We still get our dry food. This is just something mama wants to do for us to make us healthier. One cat lady wrote in and said her cat had eaten raw meat for 22 years. I don't know if I can put up with mama that many years. I'll try, but it won't be easy.

FURBY

P.S. Our fur is already getting softer and we have more energy. I'll let everybody know when I get supercat strength and learn how to fly

Two Ferals and a Mouse!

I forgot to tell everybody we have another mouse! My beautiful cat mama Lola caught it and played with it awhile last night before she let it go. It's MUCH more fun to let it think it got away and then catch it and play with it again a few nights later! It was ME who told Lola where the mouse was. You see, I have that Maine Coon stare. What that means is I'm good at staring at things but dumb as dirt at catching them. Teeheehee.

Besides, there are way too many cats here to catch a mouse. They mostly just fall all over each other trying and the mouse gets away unless Lola is awake to catch it. Why, I've watched many a mouse just sit in a corner laughing at all the cats falling over each other trying to get to it. How embarrassing!

And I forgot to tell everybody we have 2 feral kittens. One of them is about as wild as I was when mama found me and took me to my forever home. Her name is Grizabella "Bella" and means beautiful gray. She's a beauty, all right. Looks just like I did when I was a baby. Mama her to get special permission to bring her home since she was captured as a feral and we're dangerous. At least that's what the shelter said. Mama rescued Bella and her brother Sweetie Pie and her sister Sugar Pie. They died of a bad temper and Bella is the only one who lived. She's the sweet one. No bad temper with her.

Excuse me, mama's talking to me....OK mama. Mama said they died of bad distemper. That's what killed my new friends a few weeks ago. Whew! That's a relief. I've been a thinking if ya have a bad temper you die...

Speaking of bad tempers, Renny the Renigade was as escapee at the shelter. Mama was supposed to rescue her when she brought home a baby kitty named Frankie. The trouble was Renny had escaped and was running around all over the shelter and no one could catch her. Someone FINALLY caught Renny and mama brought her home.

I'm in awe of Renny. She looks so sweet, doesn't she? Well let me tell you this! She can run, hiss, spit and bite all at the same time. Her nickname is Zippy and it makes me dizzy just watching her. She loves all the other little kittens, but she won't let mama and sissy near her. They can't even take her picture. Much less pick her up.

I'm glad I never was that wild. Sounds tiring and I'm a bit on the lazy side. Speaking of bit, I bit sissy Laura the first day I came home when she gave me a bath. Sorry Laura.

Can any of you tell me and mama and sissy how to make Renny a good little kitty? She's been here two months and she hasn't grown much but at least she's still alive. She comes out every night to eat and lives under the bed. She just doesn't like human critters...

Here's a few pictures of my beautiful Bella and a few of Renny. I may have to marry Bella when she gets a little older. Don't think I'll mess with Renny. Any cat that can growl, hiss, spit and bite at the same time is too much woman for me....

FURBY

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

How To Photograph Your Cat Yawning




Hi everybody! It's Furby! Mama has a LOT of people ask her how she gets such goofy pictures of me in the middle of yawning. HaHa mama, I'm gonna blow your secret wide open today!
The first thing mama does is make sure I'm sleeping in a spot with good light. That's either on Sissy Laura's bed or my favorite spot on the dryer. I can look out the window on there and it makes it SO much easier to take a catnap.
And THEN it HAPPENS! Just when I get into a really great kitty dream. You cats know the kind I mean. I'm running through fields of fresh green catnip. Nothing to do and not a care in the world. I'm about to stop by the stream filled with milk and honey for a refreshing kitty drink......and then I hear it!
"FURrr-BEeee! FUR-BY! Bleeeeewwwwww. Weedle weedle woo!"
I open my eyes and there SHE is. Mama! And she's holding that stupid cellphone that takes the good pictures.
"Hey BABY!!!"
Then she snaps her fingers or rattles keys over my head. I hid her keys once and she used a pill bottle and shook it over my head. All the while making those stupid noises!
Have you seen the baby pictures of Cassie? She was our little black baby who's now our BIG black kitty. No wonder she looks terrified. No yawns, just little eyes about to pop out of her little head.
As for me, well, I yawn. I have to if I'm expected to wake up. And when mama runs around jumping and shaking stuff like she's either a witch doctor or having a seizure, I'd better wake up. And to wake up I have to yawn.
Mama know this and she stands right there in front of me after all the goofy noises have jolted me away from the river of milk and honey and into the hallway with a demented cat lady. The camera is aimed right at me. And there it will remain until I....yawn!
So you see, everybody, there's really no secret to photographing a yawning cat. Just wait for us to go to sleep and then wake us up in such a hurry it's all we can do not to pee our paws.
As soon as we start to open our mouth, TAKE THE PICTURE AND LEAVE US ALONE!
By the way, I'm sneaking on a picture of how I look when I'm NOT yawning. Also Cassie, Mandy and Annabelle. Annabelle shouldn't really count as a yawn because she was on pain killers and looked goofy even when she wasn't yawning.
For those cat mama's who choose to wake up their cats from a good snooze, remember. You gotta go to sleep sometime. And we'll be waiting.....
FURBY

Government Red Tape, Brown Paper and Bubblewrap

I don't know about all of you, but I'm getting pretty tired (not to mention mad) of government red tape. Or brown paper. Or whatever you want to call it!  It's all just something to get tangled up in. Why DO they put all that brown paper in a box to mail an itty bitty present. That's not right either! Makes a cat think there's something bigger in the box than there really is! Bubble wrap isn't so great either. It scares my dog critter Dreyfuss half to death. Ever seen a 125 pound boxer bulldog cry?
Anyway, I had mama working for me tonight on my websites. Just wanna get a WEE bit more famous so more cats will show up for the next catnip party. So mama got on my site at http://furbythecat.shutterfly.com.  She got the email addresses off of her Facebook page and only used people she knew would want to know about my new sites and my quest for world cat domination.  When she got to invite #247 the site CUT HER OFF! Nobody cuts off my mama!  She looked it up and found out there's a daily limit on the amount of people she can tell about my site each day. I'll NEVER be famous at that rate! GEEZ, what does a cat have to do to get respect? But you can all go to shutterfly and ask to be a friend and I'll OK everybody. Why should it matter to them how many people she invites? They're making money when my friends see how great this free site is. And it's easy to do or mama couldn't do it.  That's just like the stupid puter's that run Facebook. I don't know if Facebook has realized it, but it's being used by more cats and dogs than people!
I want all the friends I can get. I'm gonna need them if mama ever finds out all I do at home while she's at work. If these female cats don't quit leaving their diamond studded collars laying around for her to find-well-I just don't know what will happen.
Shutterfly sure sound's a LOT like the people at Facebook. She tried to get onto one of her Facebook sites and it said she was using a different puter and needed to identify 5 photos out of the 2000 friends she has on that page. I don't know if you've met my mama or not, but she's not the brightest bulb in the lamp. She's half blind and half deaf and this year officially became an antique. PLEASE don't tell her I said that!  So she failed the test and is now a Facebook reject. It was on the dog critter friend site, but it still upset her because she likes dog critters too.  One of mama's friends even had her account DELETED!
Would you please tell everybody about my new diary site. I'm gonna try and write every day. I may have to do it while mama's at work so she won't see what I'm writing.  Here's the link. http://the-diary-of-a-cat.pictures-of-cats.org/2011/08/cat-world-domination-is-within-reach_08.html
If you ask me, it's all a conspiracy!  Cats RULE the world now. There are just a few people out there not smart enough to have figured that out yet.
Guess they got strangled by red tape and their brains ain't a workin right.
Have any of you ever been tangled up in red tape online? You can tell little ole Furby about it. I can keep a secret. Teeheehee….
Oh-and dog critters, I LOVE you too!! We'll have a MilkBone party for you guys once I'm famous!
FURBY
P.S. Those are baby pictures of me but for some reason I can't look mean anymore. Only stupid. LOTS of stupid faces with me around….and these prove my point.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Cat World Domination IS Within Reach!


Hi everybody! It's Furby! My wonderful Godfather Michael has given me my very own column. Little does he know I'm going to spend a LOT of my time here helping cats dominate their human critters.  Won't that be FUN, my feline comrades?

Oh, I'm out for myself too. I want to be famous so I can have catnip parties every weekend and invite all of my cat friends. I'm a good host.  If any of my cat guests are too tired to prowl back home they can sleep here. Just be careful fellow cause that's how I got my second wife.

Did I mention we'll be having fresh nip and not that old dried up stuff.

It was all a BIG misunderstanding. Sissy Laura told mama I needed more 9Lives (I LOVE the dry) and I thought sissy said I need 9 WIVES! I'll get into that story later on. Now I want to talk about cat world domination!

First of all, I have a Facebook page under Furby the Feral Feline. PLEASE go there and LIKE my page. Mama has put a really stupid looking picture of me on that page and reuses to take it down until I have 5000 people LIKE me.  She sneakerdoodled me on that photo. I was on catnip when she look it and I admit I look a little-well-UNcat-like.

I have several plans in the works, and I'd suggest fellow cats who want to achieve cat world domination do as I do. First get a Facebook page. Geez, Facebook would be empty if it took all the cats and the dog and rabbit critters off of it. Also get a Dogster or Catster page and make as many friends as you can. I'm not sure if there's a Rabbitster or not. Teeheehee.

Check out my private site at http://furbythecat.shutterfly.com. Mama sneakerdoodled me on a few pages there.  Everybody is free to check out the pages there, just DON'T, I repeat DON'T look at the Imikimi page. How embarrassing. I must really have been on the catnip when that happened because I don't remember dressing up in ANY of those outfits! I AM sending out invites to that page so please don't call the SPAM police on me!

My BIG dream is to get on the Ellen show. She's this famous talk show host who hands out money like it was candy and cat food like-well let's just say it would feed mama's rescue for a YEAR! THAT is my biggest goal and I hope everybody will help me get there.

So this is a personal invitation for Ellen DeGeneres, owner of Halo pet food, to show up at my door with money, catnip and food. Hi Ellen! LOVE YOU!

As for today, my cat friends and human critters, please LIKE me on FACEBOOK so mama will take down that awful picture of me. I'd hate for a famous talk show how to see it. I look kinda deranged. What ya'll think?

FURBY

P.S. And to the person I sent this to using the wrong email address-figure this one out yourself!!

I am Furby's Godfather

I just want to say that I am Furby's godfather. I am very proud to be his godfather. Furby is a very good boy. He has grown up into a handsome adult cat. He is a little mischievous but that is what makes him so adorable. He'll be writing stuff soon.

--
Michael