Hi everybody! It's Furby! And I'm here today to tell you Mama and Sissy are hypocrites! That's a big long word for a cat to have to know, but it's the truth!
All of my life I've been told to be a good boy and not tear things up. I have a finger pointed at me when I DO tear things up. TRUST me, I'm good at knocking over things and breaking them. I truly enjoy the sound of breaking glass. Apparently Mama doesn't, but that's another story.
Anyway, Sissy has been doing a lot of work in the house after the feline bad temper...um.....excuse me... FELINE DISTEMPER killed so many of our babies. It turns out that germ critters can live in the carpet and make more kitties sick. So Sissy tore out the carpet and she's trying to put down a tile floor.
Mama and Sissy have the best friends EVER on Facebook. They're trying to help pay for all of the tile. Mama got the good kind that kitty paws can't tear up in a few weeks. That mean's we'll be able to have better catnip parties and clean up better with a tile floor. Won't nobody be able to pee on the carpet and not be found out!
I'm supervising, as you can see by the pictures. I was doing a pretty good job of it until I found out about one thing. GLUE. That horrible icky substance that feels worse than duck tape on your feet. I almost stepped in it a few times. Almost. Well, I did. Just a little....If not for that universal word reaching my ears in time, I'd have had to have a major bath instead of just a washcloth paw-rub, which wasn't all that bad.
You all know the word I'm talking about. AAANNNKKKK! It works on everybody. Kids, grownups, critters. Anyone hears that word and they freeze! Kids and critters may pee their pants and paws when they hear this word. I didn't. I just froze, one paw almost in the glue on the floor and the other a safe distance away. Mama still washed off my feet to be on the safe side.
So my job was making sure none of Furby's Halfway House residents had a glue experience. It's needed to hold down the tile.
Now for why Sissy and Mama are hypocrites. They tell me not to dig in my litterbox like I'm trying to rescue someone and to keep my food on the feeding bar. But THEY can tear up my house and NOTHING is said about it. Well, I'm telling on them.
Not only was the carpet tore up, there's much more. Mama and Sissy are doing something they call 'spring cleaning.' I don't know about you, but it's summer here and there ain't no 'spring' about it. Mama even has things tore apart and lots of boxes in her room and the master bath, which is supposed to be my private, PEACEFUL chamber.
I know all this cleaning is gonna be a good thing because it will give us under the cabinet play-room. Mama doesn't know that yet so please don't tell her. She has to get rid of the globe base that used to hold fish and mama has been 'saving' for 15 years to one day use as a night light. And the puzzles with lots of pieces missing are gonna go too. There are a few other things I hope she gets rid of like the giant dead beetle in the top cabinet that scares the crap out of snoops (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) when I throw catnip parties. On second thought, I'd better make sure that stays. Teeheehee.
Would someone please write to me and tell me why they can tear up the house and I can't.
I wanna help and I just wanna make sure that feline distemper critter is out of here. I'll keep out of the glue. I PROMISE! I'll TRY? Never mind.....
So right now the house is a bigger mess than after a catnip party. There are boxes and trash bags everywhere. And it's not good trash where you get a lot of food smells. It's paper and junk trash and it's just BORING! Unless we get lucky and a mouse runs out from somewhere. Hhhmmmmm.......
I gotta go. I'm going on a MOUSE WATCH!
P.S. I'll write about this again when the floor is done. Donations can be sent thru PayPal to firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to help.